Magical Misery Tour

En su carrera en solitario John Lennon se inclinó por escribir canciones en primera persona, desde el punto de vista más descarnado y (al menos en apariencia) sincero que pudo. El enfoque hizo posibles canciones brillantes y otras que no lo son tanto —en todo caso, se prestaba a una parodia implacable, y hubo quien supo hacerla. Magical Misery Tour es obra de The National Lampoon, un grupo de cómicos estadounidenses, que publicó un LP en 1972. Christopher Cerf compuso la música en el más puro estilo de The Plastic Ono Band: bajo, piano y batería, todos en pleno ataque de nervios, con guiños a Mother y God, y Tony Hendra se encarga de la letra: algunas de las declaraciones más hirientes que Lennon hizo, tal cual, durante una entrevista concedida a la revista Rolling Stone en 1970, entonadas y chilladas según los dogmas de la santa Iglesia del grito primario.

(Para escuchar la canción: aquí).

Magical Misery Tour

I resent performing for you fuckers!
Tell me, what do you know?
A lot of faggot middle-class kids
Wearing long hair and trendy clothes.
Look, I'm not your fucking parents
And I'm sick of uptight hippies coming knocking at me door
With a fucking peace symbol
Get this, got that I don't owe you fuckers anything.
And all I've got to say is "Fuck you!"

The sky is blue.

And Mick Jagger
I think that Mick's a joke with all his stupid faggot dancing
I always did.
Wiggling his ass, you know, its just a lot of bullshit.
And where does he come off saying all those tarty things about the Beatles?
When every fucking thing we ever did Mick tried to copy
and you know we even wrote his second fucking record for him
No, the Stones, aren't the same in class as the Beatles,
either music-wise or power-wise; they never ever were.

Pardon me, sir.

Paul said he hated Yoko
Tell me, why should Yoko have to take that kind of shit -
shit from those fucking sons of bitches?
George said she gave off evil vibes
I should have beat the fucking shit right out of him,
him with his fucking Hari Krishnas.

Me Auntie she tore up me fucking poems
She just threw the bastards out.
I can't forgive her 'cause she didn't treat me like a fucking genius.
Look, you bastards, I'm a genius!
Like Shakespeare and Beethoven and Van Gogh.
Don't you DARE criticize my work!
"Don't Worry Kyoko" is one of the fucking BEST rock and roll records ever made!
I'm a fucking artist!
I'm sensitive as shit!
I throw up before I go on stage!
I could make a guitar SPEAK!
If I could be a fisherman, I would, But I CAN'T because I'm a FUCKING GENIUS!
I was the Walrus - Paul wasn't the Walrus!
I was just saying that to be nice, but I was actually the Walrus!
You know that rubbish he's been singing?
EASTMAN WAS AN ANIMAL! A FUCKING STUPID MIDDLE-CLASS PIG!
I WON'T LET FUCKING ANIMALS LIKE THAT NEAR ME!
Yoko is a supreme intellectual!
I'll tell you why nobody likes her music
because she's a woman, and she's Oriental, that's why!

Where are you, Mother?
They're trying to crucify me!

Genius is pain,
Genius is pain,
Genius is pain,
Genius is PAIN!!
YOKO!!!! MOTHER!!!!
{Fade out on howling and gutteral screaming)

The dleam is over.